sorry, my heart is out of service today

COBRA STARSHIP

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 04:32:07 GMT

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University Loafers: A Story about Beer, Sex, Lady Friends, and more Beer.

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:35:48 GMT

In Part 4 or whatever it is, Adam and Zac get drunk and wear dresses.

Adam sat on his bed, wearing a bright blue and white poka-dot dress drinking a bottle of wine. He stood up from his bed feeling drunk. He spun around in circles watching the dress twirl around him. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" he squeeled. He stopped and took another drink of wine, then spun around again. "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Zac walked out of his room and towards Adam's. He could hear Adam in there doing something. He knocked on the door.

Adam stopped, then stumbled over to the door. He opened it to see Zac staring at him. "What are yoooooou looking at?"

"What are you wearing?" he said walking in the room and taking the bottle out of his hand. "But more importantly, what are you drinking?" he asked.

"Wine!" he slurred, "from a bottle." he closed the door behind him. "I'm wearing....a dress. Audrey made it in her fashion class. It feels so liberating!" Adam spun around again.

Zac took a large glug from the bottle and burped loudly. "Is there one for me?" He sauntered over to the bed and sat down heavily.

Adam spun around more and then fell over into the book shelf. He got up, walking off balance and went to his closet. "This one!" he yelled, pulling out a red dress with white ruffles.

Zac grimices at it. "It's not my colour man... plus... it won't fit me... I'm big boned." He said, eyeing the dress.

"Fine!" Adam crawled over to Zac, "maybe..you know, maybe...we could just like..bust into Audrey's room, and steal one of hers, ya know?" he babled. "and then..we could like..get more alcohol and wine."

"Kay." he says standing up and stretching. "Adam, man.. let's get hammered. I want ice cream."

Adam stood up, "Booze, and iced cream...EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he squeeled doing a stupid dance. "lets get our drink on." he took one step and fell on his face. "ah haaah!" he whined, then stood back up and picked up his shoes putting them on. He gasped, then turned to Zac. "LET'S BUST OPEN THE CAFFITERIA AND GET ICE CREAM THAT WAY!"

Zac took a huge swig of wine and yelled "YEAAAAAAAH!!" He ran and picked Adam up fireman style and ran down the hallway to Audrey's room.

"Audrey! Audrey! Zac needs a dress! Dress! Audrey!" Adam yelled being carried down the hall, "whoa, you have a nice butt!" he said looking at Zac's as he was flung over his shoulder. "You and your tooshie, you're both..very pretty!" then he smacked his assed with both hands.

Zac laughed at Adam's comment. He clenched his butt. "I have an amazing ass." he proclaimed and then let out another huge burp.

"Hey... that one tasted like pizza!"

"My humps! My humps! My lovely lady lumps! Watcha gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk!" Adam sang, then stopped for a momet. "Hey..wouldn't it be cool if like, everything smelt and tasted like pizza? It would be like..the best smelling and tasting world ever!"

"Oh my fucking god yes." Zac yelled, drinking more wine. "How many bottles you got of this stuff, man? It tastes like shit... I want more."

"I've got plenty of shit! I was out of beer, so I pulled out the wine. I think I gots likes..3 more bottles! Hey! And when we're done with them, we can go up on the roof and throw them so they smash!" he said rubbing Zac's head vigerously. "you're hair smells like peaches!" he said then sniffed his head.

"Yeah... some fruit or chick left it in the bathroom... you know... it may smell like peaches but it sure as hell doesn't taste like them." he sighed. "what the fuck man? is she like sleeping?" he asked frutrated, referring to Audrey.

"I think her and Beeja Jee Jee are out." he said still playing with Zac's hair. "I want to eat it.." he said to himself and smelt his hair again.

"Bijoux." he said defensively. He pouted a bit.

"Yeaaaaaah! Thats it! Audrey and her are pretty cool friends!" he said, braiding Zac's hair now. "Audrey was all, 'I'm gonna talk to her for Zac!' And I was all, 'No! No you can't! Zac's gotta be a big boy!' and then she was all, 'but Zac is cool, he's so cool that he needs a cool girl.' then I told her, I told her that I could do it, then she got all serious and was like, 'You're not a girl, Adam! Stop trying to be her girlfriend, Adam. Only girls can be girls girlfriends, Adam!" he stopped, "you know, if your hot butt had this sexy hair, your pretty face and your hot butt could have a serious Hollywood career!"

Zac sighed heavily. "Yeah..." He paused. "You know.... I don't think Bijoux likes me..."

Adam slowly slid off of Zac, and sat infront of him on the floor cross legged. "You got to believe, dude! Audrey..Audrey is like this girl." he slurred, "and she's all, 'I have friends! And I make friends! And I can like, get them to do things!' She's gonna get Bijoux to like you. I know she will." Adam turned and sat up on his knees, and unlocked Audrey's door. "Audrey!? Audrey?!" he whispered loudly, then laughed looking back at Zac, "oh yeah! I forgot that she wasn't home!" he crawled in on his hands and knees to the middle of the room. "Do you realise...that you have..the most..beautiful face!?" he sang as he rolled around in the of the floor.

"You'd better be right about Audrey, dude... fuck, I haven't been laid in like... "he counts on his fingers, "4 days! FOUR FUCKING DAYS MAN!"

"Hahah!" Adam laughed still laying on the floor, pulling the dress up over his head. "If I were a girl, I would keep my dress over my head, allll day..and show more clothes that I could wear underneath!"

Zac looked at him and realized just how drunk Adam was. "uh... hey... I wanna dress." Zac said, lumbering over to the closet and pulling out a mumu of sorts.

He put it on, but it a tight squeeze. "Does this make me look fat?"

Adam pulled the dress back down and looked at Zac. "No, it shows off your buff bod. It's a turn on for the ladies!"

He looked Adam with a disgusted look. "Ech... seriously, man... I have man boobs."

Bijoux walked by Audrey's room, noticing the door was open. She walked in, smiling, then stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh my god..."

"Boobs are good because you can play with them." he said, then laughed. "try another one..in this bag." Adam got up to his hands and knees and pulled out a dress that Audrey had made in her fashion class. "this one!" he tossed it over.

"Wha-What are you doing?" she asked, more horrified than suprised.

Zac ripped *literally* the dress off when he saw Bijoux. "THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" he shreeked.

Adam jumped up and struggled to get the dress off. He ran over to Zac, standing beside him, with his arms stuck. "I wanted to feel pretty! That is all!"

She looked them over and began to laugh. She walked over to Adam and helped him get out of the dress. She looked over at Zac, still standing with the shredded dress at his feet and no shirt on.

She sighed and laughed again, pinching Adam's cheek. "Seriously... wow."

Zac saw her look at him and he felt his face go red. He looked at the floor.

Adam smiled like a dork. "I'm not retarded, I swear." he looked at Zac, and nudged him, jesturing him to say something to her.

Zac glared at Adam and mouthed "what?" to him.

"Talk to her." he mumbled clentching his teeth, then looked at Bijoux and smiled again.

Audrey walked in. "What the hell?" she said seeing everyone.

"Audrey! You're here!" he said spreading his arms out, "shit." he said under his breath and ran over to her.

Zac looked at Bijoux and smiled. "Hi..." he said, trying not to look too nervous.

"Hi." she said back confused. She looked at Audrey. "Hey! I called you today!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I just got your message while I was at work." Audrey asked, with Adam hanging off her. "Stop it. You smell like cheap wine." she said to him, pushing him off of her.

Adam pouted. "Oh yeah? Well you smell like hair spray!" he said snotty-like, then gave a smart assed smirk.

"Because I've been doing hair all day!" she snapped back and walked over to Bijoux and Zac.

"Well maybe, I've been drinking all day!" he yelled, then huffed and sat down on the floor crossed legged and crossed arms pouting.

Zac smiled nervously at her. "Hey" he said with a bit of a wave. He quickly looked at Bijoux, then back at Audrey, his eyes pleading for help.

"No problem. I was bored so I came by your room and I found Adam and Zac... in dresses with wine...?" she said, wondering if this was a normal ritual.

Audrey rolled her eyes and looked back at Adam. "I thought you said that you didn't want to be a drag queen like your dad?"

Adam looked up gocking at her. "Yeah..well maybe I was feeling ugly, and I needed to get my drink on and play dress up!"

Zac groaned and sat on the bed. "It just can't get worse than this..." he muttered. He looked up at Bijoux. "We were gonna get some ice cream... wanna come?"

"Uh... I guess... but the cafeteria is closed... and I don't want to drive off campus again tonight." she said, crossing her arms and looking down at Zac.

"We don't have to leave campus at all.. we can just like... break into the cafeteria and get some soft serve that way... very simple." He paused and tried to gage everyone's reaction. Seeing nothing but glares from both women, he sat back sheepishly and said, "It was Adam's idea... geesh.."

"Yeah, and unlike some people," Adam said looking at the girls, "I like to have fun."

Audrey huffed. "Alright..fine. We'll have 'fun', seeming as you think that I don't have any."

Bijoux rolled her eyes and looked at Zac. "So we're going to break into the cafeteria, steal soft serve ice cream, eat it and then do what?" she asked condescendingly.

"Yeah!" Zac said, standing up. "And then after that we have two choices: we can suck the fat out of our heads and skate around on a giant skillet and grease it up so Paul Bunyan can have his flap jacks or Adam and I could cut off our dinks and staple them to our foreheads!" he yelled, looming over her.

"Skateboarding!" Adam yelled, "but no penis cutting. I like mine where it is."

Audrey scratched her head, dropping her face in her hands, "okay, you know what..I can't..deal with these antics right now. You two..just.."she stopped and looked at Zac, "come here. I want to talk to you." she grabbed his arm and pulled him out in the hall.

Adam, still on the floor, watched them walk out, and then started crying. "I knew it! They're having an affair!" he pulled his hoodie over his head and layed on his side curling up in a ball. "hush little baby, don't say a word.." he sang to himself.

Zac followed her out to the hallway. "What?" he looked at her.

Bijoux looked at Adam and then sighed. She crawled on the floor beside him.

"Adam... I highly doubt they're having an affair. Audrey's a nice girl and Zac is a jerk."

"Look, " she sighed, then looked back into the room, and saw Adam rolling around crying with his hoodie over his head. Audrey shook her head, "whatever. Okay, if you want to get Bijoux, you really, really, need to talk to her. Like, take her out, or invite her somewhere, without...Don Wan El Tardo over there." she said jestering towards Adam.

"What are you talking about? He's classic! He makes me look good!" he said. "Besides... she doesn't like me anyway..." he said, scowling a bit.

"Zac's not a jerk." he sniffled. "Zac is like...he's...well, I don't know. I do know he likes you."

"Oh good Lord." she says rolling her eyes. "He does not... besides, if you liked a girl, would you talk about stapling your penis to your forehead? I know I wouldn't."

Audrey sighed. "I know, Adam is great. I love him to bits. But, you need to get her out alone. Take her somewhere nice..or something. Unlike Adam, who took me to lazor tag and mc donalds on our first date. 'I'll teach you skills!' What a moron." she huffed.

"Don't diss lazer tag." he said in a low tone. "Besides... she already thinks I'm an idiot... where am I supposed to take her? Normally, I just take the chick to my room and bone her." he said nodding his head. "But she's like a virgin... ya can't do that to a virgin!"

Adam laughed a little, "no..no he does. Thats how he flirts. He's just been burned in the past, so he's not too sure how to act around girls he likes." he wiped his eyes.

She huffed and looked away. She crossed her arms and sighed. She leaned over just enough to see Zac outside in the hallway talking with Audrey. She involentarily smiled.

"Take her to a movie." she said, "and how did you know that she was a virgin?" Audrey asked placing her hands on her hips, "do guys just know, or something? And why would you just take girls back to your room and bone them and then never call them back? We have feelings! Sometimes, we like to just go back and watch tv! We're not just..some pieces of meat that don't want phone calls!" she ranted, "BECAUSE WE LIKE THE PHONE CALLS!!" she screached.

Adam smiled, "Bijoux." he giggled a little.

Zac backed away from her and cowared slightly. "Well, you know... when you scream like that, it just seems logical not to call you back..." he said, rubbing the back of his neck, nervously.

She sat back. "What?" she asked shortly. "I did nothing." she turned her back to Adam and huffed.

Audrey pouted, then poked Zac. "Be a man."

"I saw that smile." he said still smiling. "I may be drunk, but I am still 'Adam-Sees-All'."

"Mmmphh." He grunted. Zac huffed and leaned against the door frame.

"You saw nothing." she said plainly, beginning to pick at her shoe.

"I know what I saw." Adam laughed again. "just give him a chance." he said softly.

"I mean it." Audrey said firmly, then gave him a little bit of a glare. She crossed her arms, then walked back into her room.

"But he's so... big... and weird... and noisy... and... and... he's just.. so..." she tried to articulate the words to explain to Adam why she didn't/couldn't like zac.

Zac stomped his feet and huffed. He followed her back into the room.

Adam laughed quietly at her, then looked up at Audrey when she walked in and stood over him. He rolled over and layed on his back.

"Were you crying? Why were you crying?" Audrey asked smiling and laughed a little, kneeing down close to him.

"No," Adam pouted a little, "I wasn't crying."

Bijoux smiled and then laughed out loud. "Oh lord, Adam." she said, shaking her head, still laughing.

Zac looked between Bijoux and Adam. "What's going on?" he asked, sounding almost hurt.

Adam looked at Bijoux, then back at Audrey, and sat up. "Well, I think I'm going to go back to my room. I'm drunk."

Audrey laughed. "Okay, then let me walk you to your room..so I know that you make it back."

"Night guys... I'll see you tomorrow... Audrey.. call me!" she said, getting up and stretching. She looked at Zac. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded then rememberd what Audrey said. "You wanna come back to my room so we can... I dunno... watch a movie? I"m not tired." he asked.

She nodded and smiled. "Sure... I'm not tired either..."

He walked to the door, and smiled at Adam. He walked to his room and opened the door, waiting for Bijoux.

"I will!" Audrey laughed a little as she answerd Bijoux, trying to hold Adam up. She took him back into his room, and cuddled up with him in bed until he fell a sleep.

She walked up to the door and walked in. Zac closed the door behind her.

University Loafers: A Story about Beer, Sex, Lady Friends, and more Beer.

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 08:50:50 GMT

In Part Three....Zac takes Adam to the hospital to treat a concussion, and Ike discovers his "suprise"

Zac and Adam arrived at the emergency room.

"Okay..you're going to be okay!" Zac sat said, laying Adam down across the seats in emergency.

"Uh...muh..hubba-duba..ouch guys...my head hurted.." Adam rambled, keeping his eyes closed.

"Stay awake man! Don't pass out!" Zac tapped his face.

Adam giggled, "sleeeeep.."

Oh man, I need to phone somebody...Zac thought to himself...Audrey! She'll understand! "Adam? Do you have Audrey's number?"

"Audrey..Audrey's my girlfriend." Adam giggled again.."sleep..I feel tired..hubb-lah..."

Zac starred at him. "Do you understand anything I'm asking you?"

Adam opened his eyes slightly and smiled, reaching his hand out and stroked Zac's cheek, "you're funny.." he giggled, then closed his eyes again.

"No man! Come on! Wake up and smell the poisies!" Zac grabbed the silk bouquet sitting in a vase on the table, and rubbed them in his face.

"Arrgahhh!!" Adam moaned, waving his hand at them to get them away.

"DO-YOU-HAVE-YOUR-CELL-PHONE-WITH-YOU!?" Zac talked loudly to him as if he was a deaf old man.

Adam opened his eyes, then closed them again, his body became limp, and his arm dangled off the side of the seats.

"No! Bad Adam!" Zac grabbed Adam's arm and started making Adam hit himself. He then shook him, "stay awake! don't close your eyes!" he saranaded him with Mary Poppins songs.

Adam's cell phone feel out of his hoodie pocket.

"YES!" Zac shreeked and grabbed it and went through the list of names finding Audrey. He called her.

"Hello? Adam?" she asked.

"Uh, no. It's Zac on Adam's phone."

"No, Adam is sleeping.." Adam giggled, then reached his hand out and started poking Zac, "zeep..."

"Oh. Hi Zac. Where are you?" Audrey asked.

"Promise you won't get mad?" he said swatting at Adam's hand, shoving it away.

"Ow.." Adam pulled his hand away.

Audrey suddenly felt worried. "That depends. Where are you?"

"Uh, well, we're sorta kinda at the hospital..." Zac said sheepishly trying to sound innocent.

"WHAT!?" Audrey shreeked, "what happpend!?"

"Well...I was mad at Taylor...my brother, he's a whore...anyways, I needed to break something...so Adam and I..."

"You broke Adam!?"

"Not intentionally..we were in Ike's room, breaking things..and Adam was jumping up and down on the bed, and he hit his head on the ceiling. And when he fell off the bed I'm pretty sure he hit his head again on the floor.."

Adam made a girgleing noise and rolled off the seats.

"Shit!" Zac said, pulling him back up with one arm.

Audrey was fuming, "you two are the most stupidest..just...oh my God!! What is wrong with you!? I am going to kill you! How could you let him..just..you're an idiot! I'm going to kill you! No, I am going to cassarate you! Then-"

"Um, I sorry, I speaky no english!" Zac said franticly, then hung up.

"Guuuuuuhhh...." Adam moaned, rolling over again.

Zac sat beside Adam. The nurse came out and called for them. Zac picked Adam up in the fireman carry.

"Someone's posioned the water hole!" Adam said hanging over Zac's shoulder,

"What?" Zac asked him, shaking his head laughing.

"My head's on fire. Can someone please put it out?" Adam rambled.

The got into the the room. Zac sat Adam down the bed.

Adam giggled, then fell over sideways, laying down. The doctor took his eye examining light, openening one of Adam's eyes at a time, looking into them.

"So what exactly happend to him?" the doctor asked, looking up at Zac.

"Well, I was showing Adam how I could break things..and then he started jumping on the bed..and he hit his head on the ceiling..." Zac explained, avoiding eye contact.

"Ceiling rymes with peeling.." Adam mumbled, "...I have a headache.."

"Yes, you probably do." the doctor looked at Zac again, "he deffinently has a concussion."

"NOOO!!!" Zac cried, "brain damaged! He's brain damaged!! He's gonna die!!!!" Zac cried, then fell to floor, landing on his knees. "Why!? Why God, why!?" he sreamed, shaking his fists in the air.

"Ow..." Adam moaned.."noises..loud noises...too many questions..too many questions.."

The doctor shook his head and sighed, "he's not going to die. He doesn't have brain damage. He has a minor concussion. I'll give him some pain killers, and he'll be feeling better in a few days."

"A few days!? NOOOO! Let him live! He needs to live!!" Zac stood up, and shook the doctor, "oh..wait..did you say that he's not going to die?"

The doctor stared blanky at him. "Yes. Do you need your head checked?"

"No.." Zac said snotty like.

"Adam!" Audrey ran into the room, and knelt down close to his face.

"SHREDDER!!" Adam screamed.

"Hi Audrey." Zac said to her, smiling nervously.

"Shut-up! Lets get him home." She said angerly.

"Home..home on the range..where the beer and girls pour like rain..." Adam sang.

Zac sighed, picking Adam up and carried him out to the car, and drove the three of them home.

*Back at the Dorms*

Zac walked into Adam's room and put him on the bed.

"So..." he said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Shou-should I leave now?"

Audrey shook her head, "no, you don't have to. I'd rather you stay incase he passes out or something, or falls. I can't lift him." she laughed.

"OKay... are you... uh.. like... gonna... you..." He twiddled his thumbs, then spat it out "Are you gonna talk to her?" he refurred to Bijoux.

Audrey gave him an odd look. "Yes..I said I would. I promise."

"Zac?" Adam asked, "could you please stop driving the rocket ship? The spinning around is making me dizzy."

Zac hugs her in a great big bear hug. "Thank you." he says, SQUEEEZING her.

Audrey hugged back, awkwardly. "Your-your welcome."

Zac released her and smiled at her awkwardly. He sat down on the computer chair and leaned back, hands behind his head. "So Adam, where's the cheese?"

Adam was laying on his bed, rolled onto his stomache now. He giggled. "Cheese, no cheese. Cheese, no cheese." he giggled again. "Cheese comes from cows."

Zac laughed. "Man... you're way better this way... you should be consta-wacked."

Adam giggled again. "Consta. Consta Paited."

Audrey laughed. "Jeese.."

Zac flung his head back and laughed. "Wait man... I need to get this..." he pulls out his cell phone and begins to record Adam. "Say hi to camera, Adam."

"Zac!" Audrey laughed.

"Hiiiiiiiii!" Adam said, "hah hah! I can see you! Consta-Paided!"

Zac laughed again and continued to record him.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..and there like..it's better than yours! la la la la..laaa.." he sang.

Zac kept recording and laughing.

"Okay," Audrey laughed. "I think we have enough to embarass him. He does enough of that on his own all ready!"

He laughed and saved the video on his phone. "OKay... now what?" he asked.

"We could...go see what Isaac said about his room..?" she grinned

Zac looked at her. "Yeah!" he said, "We can take pictures!" he said, holding up his camera.

"Yes! We can! Lets go suprise him!" She said jumping up.

"Suprise!" Adam yelled with his voice muffled into the pillow.

Zac got up and walked out to the hallway to Ike's room.

Audrey went up to Adam kissing him on the head, "Just..yell if you need me," she said, then she followed Zac to Ike's room

Zac walked up to Ike's room and knocked on the door.

Audrey stood behind Zac, scared, but excited to see his reaction.

Isaac sat on his bed, then looked up when he heard a knock. He got up and opened the door to see his burly younger brother.

"YOU!" he said pointing at him.

Zac grabbed Ike's finger in his hand. "Hey Ike... like you're surprise?"

Audrey stood there behind him, laughing a little.

"WHAT AN AMAZINGLY DUMB QUESTION!" he yelled. "No, Zac! I hated it! This is not a suprise! This is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE... FFF.. T-THING!"

"It's kinda funny.." Audrey said laughing.

"Oh! yes! So funny! Ah hah! Ah hah! SHUT-UP!!!" Issac screamed. "Get out, before I-"

"Before you what?" Zac asked, "send me to heck?"

Isaac scrunched up his face, balling his fists up, "You..you..GO TO HECK!" Issac yelled, turning back around and slammed his door shut.

Audrey laughed. "He has some serious issues!"

Zac laughed histerically. "I am so glad Jane slept with Taylor!"

"Oh man." Audrey looked back across the hall into Adam's room. "I guess I should get back to him."

"Yeah..he's going to wake up and wonder what happend.." Zac paused, "just tell him that we were learning how to fly, and he hit his head on a white fluffy cloud."

Audrey raised an eyebrow at him.

"He'll believe you." Zac smiled, "see you later!"

"Um, bye.." Audrey laughed and watched Zac walk back down to his room. She then went into Adam's room, closing the door behind her.

University Loafers: A Story about Beer, Sex, Lady Friends, and more Beer.

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 09:01:44 GMT

Part -Two...I hope you read part one!
In this section, Zac learns something bad about his new lady friend, realizes his brother is a douche, meets a new lady, and goes on a wrecking rage with Adam.

Zac stormed up to Adam's room and banged on the door. He had spagetti-oh stains on his Ramones t-shirt.

Adam was dancing around shaking his booty to The Pussy Cat Dolls, and singing along. "I don't need a man! I get off being free! I'd don't need a man! I get off on my feet! I don't need a man!" He tossled his mid-lengh brown hair as if he was in a shampoo commercial.

"ADAM!!! I FUCKING NEED TO HAVE WORDS MAN!!!!" He yelled back, banging on the door.

Adam spun around gracfully, and stopped facing the door. He pressed pause on the cd player, and walked over to the door in a strut as if he was a Calvin Klein model showing off his jeans and tight button downed shirt. He opend the door to Zac. "Hey man, whats up? I wasn't listening to The Pussy Cat Dolls. I don't know their dance moves.." Adam said rambleing, "whats wrong?"

"JANE!" he huffed loudly

"Did you bone her?" he said bluntly.

"Yeah... but guess who else boned her." He walked into the room and punched the wall. "Fucking Taylor. Yeah, that's what I said. TAYLOR! GOD! His name should be Marcus so I can call him 'Marcus Dinkus'. FUUUUUUUUUUCK!" he yelled dramatically flailing about Adam's room.

Adam closed his door, "Ooo, thats's harsh. Don't hurt my wall." Adam paused and walked over to Zac and put his hand on his shoulder and said softy pouting, "do you want to get drunk and talk about it? I have lots of beer!"

Zac pouted. "Yeah... I guess" he said glumly, sitting down on the bed.

"YES!" Adam cheered reaching his arms up in the air. He ran over the fridge and grabbed 2 beers. He came back over and handed one to Zac, sitting beside him. "drink up, buuuuuudddy!" Adam clinked his beer bottle with Zac's.

Zac took a drink. "You know... there aren't any good girls here... Like take... uh, I dunno... JANE... stupid girls..." He took another sip.

Adam nodded, "I know..I know. I got the only good one, and I've been with her for 3 years. We've known each other since we were 5, but started boning at 18." Adam took a sip of his beer, then smiled huge and wide eyed looking at Zac. "Thats what you need!"

Zac looked at him. "What?" he stood up. "What do I need?" *Zac felt s a song coming on*

Adam started to sing, "You need aaaaaaaa........" he carried on, "a Virgin! A virgin! A pure virgin! someone untouched! Some one fresh and new!" Adam jumped up and started dancing around, still singing, "once you boink her, you will own her, then you won't be a lonely loner! Take her flower, make the garden grow! make the garden grow!"

Zac looks at him. "A virgin? You say I need a virgin? Where can we find a virgin? A virgin for MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Zac sangs.

"We will find ourselves some freshmen! Get you the cutest one! And just like me and Audrey, she'll give it to you. It's something that she can't get back, so she'll stick right on to you!" he kept singing, "and bangggg on! bannnnng on!"

"YES! This is how it's supposed to be!! A lady for you, a virgin for ME!"

Zac ripped open the door. "I NEED A VIR-ERRRRRRRR- GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Isaac ripped open his door across the hall. "AND HERE I AAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!"

Adam walked out of the room and stared at Isaac, tilting his head to the side in confusion. "You're a vigin?" he asked.

"Yes...." Isaac said, smiling. "Aren't we all......?"

Adam looked at Zac, then they both looked back at Isaac and burst out laughing.

Zac laughed, then saw Isaac's face. He stopped and shooshied Adam. "Isaac.. yes... we're virgins.. too..."

He couldn't keep a straight face anymore and burst out laughing.

"We are..we're just pure as can be!" he laughed even harder.

Isaac balled up his fists and his face went red. "YOU'RE BOTH GOING TO HECK AND ALONG WITH ALL YOUR HOES!"

He slammed his door and thru it, EVERYONE could hear him crying.

Adam laughed again, and then stopped and looked back at Zac putting his hand on his shoulder, "Now lets go get you that virgin!"

"OKAY!" Zac says, leaping in the air.

Zac and Adam walked into the eatery. It was packed full of people.

"Okay... now how do we find a virgin?" Zac asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

Adam stood there, watching everybody walk around enjoying fat free french vanilla lattes. He kept his on some of the girls, "I say, we just ask them."

"You can do that?" Zac asked, dumbfounded.

Adam nodded, "Yeah, of course. How are you suposed to know if they are or not?" he went in, jesturing to Zac to follow him, and sat down at a table, "now..lets decide who we think might be a virgin?"

"Oh... okay... what about that one?" Zac says, smiling and pointing to a cheap plastic tramp at a near by table.

Adam looked over at her. "No, she's a tramp. She gets it on with Professer Frink behind the girls locker room every Wednesday 3:09pm."

"Ew..." Zac says, then looks over at another girl. "What about her?" pointing to a nasty ass hoe, sitting on a jock's lap, feeding him.

"Hmm..no, no. Not her." Adam stopped, and looked over a girl entering the food court. She wore all black and hair was long and covering her face. She clutched her text books and looked around as if she was lost. "I bet she is. She's so sad and depressed looking..just wishing that someone would pop her cherry." he said watching her, "she wants it."

"Is she? But how do you know?" Zac asked, checking the girl out and smiling at her.

"Simple," he said, "you just ask." Adam got up and walked over to her smiling. Things were going well in their conversation, until, "Are you a virgin?" he asked, and her reponse was her slapping him across the face. Adam stoood stuned for a few seconds as the girl walked off. He turned then sat backs down beside Zac.

Zac burst out laughing. "Adam... I hate to tell you... but I think you suck with women." He said, wiping his eyes and patting him on the back.

Bijoux sighed and walked into the food court. There was a mess of people every where and she was feeling a little overwhelmed.

Adam looked up, and saw Bijoux. "Her!" he said pointing at her.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw an energetic guy point at her and yell 'HER'. She looked over at his friend then back at the first guy.

He walked up to her. "Hi, I'm Adam. Are you knew here?"

"Uh... yeah..." she smiled at him uneasily, replying to his question,

"Welcome! It's very nice to meet you!" he said cheerfully, then whispered. "my friend Zac thinks you're cute. You should talk to him."

Zac followed Adam and smiled his bestest smile at her.

"Okay...?" she said smiling. She looked at Zac. "Hi... I'm Bijoux.."

"Hi... I'm Zac." he said, winking at her and shaking her hand.

Adam smiled, "aww. this is so cute. I'm going to go sit over there, and watch you from afar." he sat down at the table 3 feet away, resting his elbos on the table, relaxing his face in his hands watching them. He gazed off at them wide eyed with a stupid grin on his face.

Bijoux watched Adam walk away and then looked up at Zac. "Is he always like this?"

Zac glared at Adam. "Uh... yeah.."

He turned back to Bijoux. "So... you wanna sit down... or something....?"

She smiled. "Sure." she said, sitting down at the nearest table.

Zac sat down with her. He turned and looked at Adam, glaring at him.

Audrey walked in to see Adam sitting across from them at another table, and sat down with him.
"Hey Adam, whats-"

"Shhhh...." Adam said to her. "I'm watching." He moved her chair closer and pulled her onto his lap. "I'm trying to help Zac find someone new."

She looked around Zac and looked at Adam. "Is he actually watching us?"

Zac sighed. "Yeah" he turned around back to her. "So, your name is Bijoux... pretty name... it's French right?"

"What happend with that Jane girl?" she asked confused, placing her arm around his shoulder.

"No more Jane." he shook his head. "She slept with his brother, Gaylor...I mean Taylor. Taylor! Damn it Adam, get it right! GOD!" he said to himself hitting his fist on the table.

"Yeah... it's French. " she said.

An awkward silence sat over them.

"Yeah.....Oh look! Adam's lady friend Audrey is here." he said looking up. "Hi Audrey!" he called to her, motioning for her to come over.

"Oh no, I have to help!" Adam pushed Audrey off his lap, knocking her to the floor, and he stood up. "Oh, sorry Auds. You okay?" he looked down and pulled her up off the floor.

"Ow.." she said getting up. "Hi Zac." she said. Her and Adam walked over.

"Hey!" he got up and hugged her. "Audrey... this is Bijoux... Bijoux, this is Audrey." He said smiling a smile that screamed: HELP.ME.

"Hi." Bijoux said warmly to Audrey, reaching her hand out to her.

"Hi, " Audrey said smiling at her, shaking her hand. "You new here? I just started here myself."

"Yeah... I just started too." She said, laughing nervously.

Zac pulled Adam over to the side.

"Adam! I need your help, dude! I can't do this! I'm nervous!"

Adam nodded, "alright, alright.I know." he sighed, thinking. "okay, well she obviously hasn't met anyone yet..so invite her to come back to your room to hang out. Or we invite her out with tonight! ..go see a movie!" he said excited, hopping up and down.

Zac squealed. "OKAY!"

He looked back at Audrey and Bijoux, making sure they didn't hear him.

He cleared his throat and puffed up his chest, speaking in a low voice. "Adam, that is a very masculine plan to which I have a male answer: that sounds good!"

"Um, yeah.." he said also clearing his throat, talking loudly, "man! we sure are manly! And we'll be the most manly men at the movie theature tonight. Hey! Why don't we bring the girls with us?"

Audrey rolled her eyes. "Oh God. Not this crap again.."

"What's going on? Is it bad?" she asked, worriedly

"Yes! We are men! MANLY MEN!" Zac said, marching around with his chest puffed out.

Audrey sighed, holding head in her hands, "No..this is how they ask girls out. You see, Adam and I have been together for 3 years, and Zac wants a date, and I think he wants a date with you. So, now they're proving that they can be men..."

"oh... welll.... that's nice..." she said, really not sure of what she was getting into.

Taylor, Zac's brother, walked in and sat down with a trashy blond hoe.

Zac spotted Taylor and stopped marching around. He pursed his lips and walked over to him.

"Hi Taylor." he said almost a little too sweetly.

"Yes! We are men!" Adam said walking around like Zac, not realizing that he had walked away, "lets go eat some steak and hammer up dry wall." Adam stopped, "oh no." he said watching Zac standing by Taylor.

"Hey Zac" Taylor replied "Zac this is Kelly..Kelly this is my younger brother, Zac" he said introducing them.

"Hey zac" she says extending her hand

He stands there with his arms crossed and smiles at her. "Hi."

"So Taylor... how's Jane?" he asked, smiling, but looking quite terrifying.

"Oh no..um..okay this could get..bad, " Audrey said to Bijoux, "lets go. we'll figure out campus on our own.." She walked over to Adam, "Baby, be careful. Bijoux and I are gonna go.."

"Good i think... i saw her before my theory class and she seemed fine why?" Taylor asked wondering why Zac looked so demented

"Alright!" Adam said evily looking at her, then looked back at Zac. "if I don't come back alive...that means I'm dead." he kissed her on the head, then walked over beside Zac.

"You saw her before class? SAW HER?!?!" Zac said, raising his voice, his eye was twitching. "WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!"

"What on earth are you on about Zachary...geez" Taylor said laughing at Zac's tantrum

"YOU FUCKED HER!" he screamed, causing the entire food court to turn and look at them.

"Zac your eye is twitching, dude." Adam said getting scared. "you know what happens when your eye twitches." he said standing there arms crossed.

"It's fucking college dude...you aren't married to her... she came to me..not the other way around" Taylor says running a hand through his hair.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Zac screams, picking up a chair and throwing it across the room, "YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO!" He got right up to Taylor's face. "It's so easy!"

"Zac, dude..like..come on..." Adam said, gently tapping his back. "blood vessle..blood vessle!" he grunted through his teeth.

"Dude i'm never gonna turn down a hot chick who stumbles into my room" Taylor replied laughing

"FINE! But I met someone new and you are NOT to talk to her! EVER!" he points at him, then looks around, "that is, unless I'm with her at like... a family function or you happen to see her and say hi to be nice... But you can't touch her!"

"Fine Zac geez...who shoved a hockey stick up your ass?" Taylor says laughing at Zac's over-reaction

Adam stood there, staring at them. "Yeah, and just to let you know, I'll be there. And when I go to family functions that aren't for my family, I get drunk. Real drunk. And mad. And I streak, naked. Then pass out. Did I mention I'll be naked? And I'm hot. Real hot." he rambled, "don't be jealous!" he said running one hand through his hair, the other placed on his hip.

He huffs at him and turns around to Adam. "I need to find something I can break." he said through gritted teeth.

Adam looked down thinking, then looked up and gasped with a smile. "Isaacs room!" he said, "we can break his room." he said quietly.

"Fine." Zac says, stomping out of the eatery.

Adam turned, sticking his tongue out at Taylor, then fallowed Zac. As the were leaving, he looked back at Taylor, "Zac will always be cooler than you!" Adam shouted, "He's the coolest guy ever!"

Adam and Zac made their way back to the dorms, and stood infront of Ike's room.

Zac knelt in front of Ike's door and began to pick the lock.

"This is so cool!" Adam said jumping up and down. "I can't wait to trash his room! And break it!"

"I know! I can't wait to break something and pretend it's Taylor's head!" he said, laughing maliciously.

"Ooooooooh, man!" Adam cackled, "I am so freakin pumped! I can't wait to smash things that resemble Taylor's head!"

Zac laughed evilly as the door unlocked. He stood up and pushed the door open. He runs in and picks up a text book and hucks it at Ike's shelves, knocking over all of it.

"I CALL THE BED!" Adam yelled, running over to it and began jumping up and down on it, knocking things off the shelf that was above it.

Zac looks up at Adam and laughs. He opens up the mini fridge under the desk and picks up the eggs. He laughs and throws them at the walls.

Adam paused and looked down at the night stand. "That bastard, he has a hotplate! After all that talk he gave me thinking I had one!" He threw it across the room, smashing it against the wall. "No more hotplate for Isaac!" Adam then jumped really high and hit his head on the ceiling. "Ow!" he said and fell off onto the floor, "Ow! ow!" he got up and crawled around mumbleing, "Isaac..ceiling..he makes me so angry..break the ceiling..break the ceiling..and bed..and floor.."

Zac laughed at Adam. "YOU SUCK MAN!" He laughed as he looked around the room, pleased with what he saw. "HAHA! I feel better. Let's get out of here."

Adam started walking and fell over. "Whoo, dizzy.." he mumbled.

"Uh careful man... you need some help?"

Zac looked down at Adam, who sat there looking at the floor. Zac Shrugged and picked him up in a fireman carry.

"Hubba..hubba-dubbdada...eggs." he said feeling very dizzy as Zac carried him out.

A couple hours later, Isaac walked opened his door and turned on the light.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed, falling to his knees. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ZAC!"

TUNE IN NEXT TIME!!

University Loafers: A Story about Beer, Sex, Lady Friends, and more Beer.

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 08:44:54 GMT

In a world where mondays are the devil and fridays equal beer, two men exsist.

Adam is puppiesque and innocent of the two, while Zac is the emotional wreck with a bad temper. Together, they torcher their RA, have sex with each other's lady friends, and have a showdown to end all showdowns in the infamous Rainforest Cafe.

Belding-U tries to deal with the uproar while Adam and Zac discover their true potential in the world of loafers.

Writen By: Reannon King (me) and Nikki Gee (my partner in crime)
Rating: 18+. There's sex, kissing, boozing, beer, breaking stuff, and some serious hard partying.
Character: Adam Lazzara, Zac Hanson, Isaac Hanson, Taylor Hanson, Audrey Kitching. (we do not own anybody, duh)
Orignal Characters: Jane, Bijoux, Gorgie, Herbert, Chloe
Enjoy!

Ike stormed up to Adam's room and banged on the door.

Adam jumped, startled. He was working on his project for his Media Studies class. He had to write a report one someone important in his life. He chose his dad, a Drag Queen in New Orleans. His girlfriend slept quietly beside him. He answerd the door to see Isaac, the RA for his dorm. "Oh God." he said rolling his eyes, "what now?" he asked.

"YOU HAVE A HOT PLATE!" Ike yelled, pointing a finger at Adam's feet.

Adam looked at him raising an eyebrow. "No I don't...and those are my feet. My face...is up here." he said pointing to his face, grining.

Zac opened his door and saw Ike yelling at Adam. He sauntered out of his room and stood behind Ike and silently waved at Adam, grinning.

Adam looked at Zac, trying to ward off a smile. He looked back at Isaac. "You're insane!" he said pointing at him.

"YES YOU DO! I CAN SMELL IT!" he yelled. The little vein in his neck was now pulsating.

Zac began laughing silently and he croutched down behind Isaac and waited.

Adam nodded, bitting his lip, looking down. "Yeah, yeah you know you're right." Adam sighed, running one hand through his hair, "I have a hot plate. And uh...it blew up. So, I don't have one anymore."

Isaac balled his fists up and scrunched his nose. He brought his fist up to Adam and pointed a finger at him. "You.Had.Better."

He began to back up, then tripped over Zac.

Zac stood up and pointed at Isaac and began laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ISAAC SUCKS!!!"

He high fived Adam.

Adam held his stomache laughing and high fived Zac. He leaned against his door way looking down at Isaac. "You're an idiot." he laughed.

Isaac sat dumbfounded on the floor. He looked up at Adam and Zac. "YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO HECK!" He screamed as he got up and ran down the hallway back to his room.

"That was AWESOME!" Zac yells, laughing. "Man... Ike sucks..."

Adam laughed even harder, falling down to his hands and knees.

Zac laughed harder, watching Adam. "Ah... fuck man..."

He suddenly got a serious look on his face. "You boning anyone?"

Adam stopped laughing, and sat down on thr floor. "Yeah. My girlfriend, Audrey, she just started classes here." he said nodding. "What about you? You boning anyone?" he laughed, "boning."

"ha ha ha.. bone..." Zac laughed then snapped back. "Uh... no... not yet... there is a chick though..."

"Sweet." he said nodding a little, looking at him. "Do you know her name?"

"Jane... " he said, getting a glazed look in his eye, partly due to the all the weed he smoked the day before.

"Kick ass chick... down the hall... like over there." He said, pointing to one of the doors.

"Nice." Adam said. He looked down the hall, then back up at Zac. "I need beer." he stood up, and walked into his room, "you coming?" he asked.

"Ah... gimme a minute... I think she's in her room..." he said quietly, winking.

Adam grinned, nodded his head all perverted like, "Uhh, uhh...oh yeah! you know it!" he laughed a little bit, then stopped suddenly. "Dude! You should totally bring her over, and I'll jump on the bed to make Audrey wake up, and we can all totally drink beer!!" he said jumping up and down getting excited.

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zac yelled, jumping up in the air.

He ran up to Jane's door then looked back at Adam. "Get out of the hallway, Asshat!" he whispered.

"Alright dude!" Adam said grinning, then trusts his hips jestering to bone her. He ran into his room and slammed door and when to wake up Audrey.

Audrey laid asleep quietly on the bed, curled up with her pillow.

Adam carefully steped on the bed, standing over Audrey. "AUDREY!!!" he yelled then started to jump up and down. "wake up! We're gonna drink beer!!"

"Ahhhh!" she yelled, "stop it, you idiot!" she grabbed her pillow and hit him with it, knocking him off the bed. "Fucking moron." she mumbled to herself and curled back up with her pillow.

Adam got up on his hands and knees, and crawled up to the bed, moving his face close to hers, "Audrey..?" he whisperd. "Audrey??" he said whispering a little louder. "Are you a wake?" he asked, still wispering loudly.

Zac and Jane walked up to Adam's door. Zac knocked and then grabbed Jane around the waist.

Jane leaned into Zac. She wrapped her arms around his waist.

Audrey sighed loudly. "No, Adam, I'm sound a sleep!" she opend her eyes wide, "Can't you tell!?"

Adam leaned back and raised his eyebrow, then smiled. "You are not sleeping! You're a wake!" He stood up,"come on! that must be Zac and his new lady friend!" he smiled like a dork, and pulled Audrey up off the bed, standing her up, dragging her to the door.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" she moaned loudly, "next time I am napping in my room." she went with Adam, being pulled by the arm.

Zac smiled. He leaned in. "Hey." he said.

She looked up and him and he leaned in and kissed her.

They started making out.

Adam pulled her to the door, "Now come on, smile! You'll love Zac! And I'm sure his lady friend is just lovely!" he opened the door and gasped loud and long smiling hugely, "Zachary Walker Hanson......!?" his words faded, but he kept smiling like an old man that had just popped viagra, "is this your new lady friend that you are sucking on!?"

Zac quickly pulled away from Jane. "Uh... Hey... Adam..." he smiled, hands still firmly planted on Jane.

"Hi... Adam's... lady... friend." he said, not quite sure what to call Audrey,

Jane smiled brightly at Adam and Audrey.

"Hi!" she waved.

Audrey smiled wide eyed looking at them, then looked back up at Adam still smiling like a moron. "Hi!" she said back laughing a little, "nice to meet you. I'm Audrey."

"Well slap my ass and call me Sherly!" Adam said with excitment spreading his arms out, "I'm Adam, and this my girlfriend, Audrey!"

"Um, yeah, honey, I just said that." Audrey said looking up at Adam. She looked back at Jane and Zac, embarrassed for the both of them.

"Well alrighty then!" Adam cheered, dropping his arms, pulling Audrey close. "Come on guy and gal! Lets have some fun!"

Zac smiled at Audrey. "Hey. I'm Zac... and this here..." he said, pulling Jane forward, "is Jane."

"Hey...Oh my God... Audrey... I think I sit near you in Biology... Mr. Myer's class?" She said, looking at Adam nervously. His smile was beginning to scare her.

"Did you get the beer adam?" Zac asks

Audrey smiled, "Oh yeah! you do!" she looked up at Adam. "Adam." she said firmly through her teeth, "you like like a clown on speed! stop it! You're scaring them!"

He looked at them and realised Audrey was right. He smiled dropped. "Well, since being happy means being a drug addict clown, lets go get drunk and be drunk clowns instead!" Adam said looking at Audrey, "watcha gonna do Audrey? watcha gonna do? huh!" he said, and turned around and walked into the room.

Jane laughed at Audrey's comment then laughed even harder at Adam. She looked up at Zac and wrapper her arms around him.

he held her close and pinched her ass

Audrey smiled looking a little embarassed, and shook her head a little, "um..come on in." she said and walked into the room.

Jane squeaked. She moved her hand nonchalantly over his crotch, just barely touching it.

"fuck jane" he says feeling his jeans tighten

Jane smiled and walked over to Audrey. "Is he always like this?" she asked quietly, laughing.

"tease" he mumbles under his breath "adam..where's the fucking beer? geez" he says

"You have no idea. He's..nuts." she laughed again, then looked over at him showing Zac how fast he could chug a beer. "Oh God.." she sighed, "not again. that was the first thing he showed me today when I got here."

"Are you serious?" she said, looking wide eyed at him. "That's...uh... cool?" she said, not quite sure what to think of Adam. "He... seems fun?"

She looked over at Zac and winked.

zac picks up a beer "janey...come sit on my lap baby" he says as he drinks his beer and sits down

Audrey kept watching him, "yeah, he's fun. and a wonder in the sac. I deffinently do not kick him out of bed." she smiled, laughing a little, then looked back at Jane.

"Audrey! Audrey! Audrey! Audrey!" Adam kept calling over and over again, standing only 8 feet away from her. He began jumping up and down, flapping his arms around.

"What, Adam!?" Audrey screetched.

"I love you!" he yelled, waving his arm irratically.

Jane laughed and walked over to Zac. She ran her hands thru his hair. "Hey... you called me over here?"

Audrey sighed looking at Jane, "and thats the only way he ever says it!" she smiled, and walked over to Adam and sat on his lap.

he pulled her onto his lap and started mauling her neck with his mouth

She laughed and put her arms around his neck. "Zaaac!.." she playfully whined. "Come on... not here... infront of your friends." She looked over at Audrey and Adam, and smiled.

"i don't care" he says kissing her again and smirking

Adam laughed and high fived Zac, "Here's to lady friends..beer...and Isaac!"

Audrey sighed, laughing and dropped her head in her hand, "Adam.." she laughed, then looked at him. "You are such a doofus."

Jane laughed and began to grind her hips on his.

Zac high fived adam back "lady friends, beer and isaac" he repeats as he chugs his beer

All of a sudden, Isaac banged on the door. "YOU ARE ALL BEING TOO LOUD!!!"

"Whoa!" Audrey said, scared as Isaac burst in, and laughed a little.

"Sorry Ike" Zac called back

Adam stood up, making Audrey fall off his lap onto the floor. "What?! We're not too noisy, you're just too quiet!" He looked down and saw Audrey, and quickly pulled her up off the floor, and pulled her close to him.

Audrey laughed. "Who is this guy?" she asked looking around at them.

Jane laughed. "What an asshat!" She looked over at Audrey. "I hate Isaac..." she said, laughing

He tried opening the door. "HEY! UNLOCK THE DOOR!" he whined. "ZAC? ZAC, ARE YOU DOING SOMETHING FORBIDDEN IN THERE???" He burst through the door.

"This.." Adam said, letting go of Audrey and moving her out of the way.."This is Isaac. The most uncool boring guy ever! Always runining mine and Zac's fun!" he said as he walked closer to Isaac.

"I only ruin your fun because the fun you have is not allowed." he said, sternly. He stuck out his hand to Audrey. "Ma'am."

"Don't let him touch you!" Jane whispered to Audrey.

Audrey stepped behind Adam, scared, looking at Jane.

"Alright..alright. Lets not be so harsh." Adam said looking around at everyone, then back at Isaac, "wanna beer, Ike?" Adam said smiling hugely.

Isaac looks at him angrily, then smiles. "Awe.. you guys are my buddies!" He smiles goofily and takes the already opened beer from Adam.

He takes a sip. "Tastes kinda funny..." he shrugs and chugs back the rest of the beer.

Jane looks at Audrey and laughs. "Ew... I want him to leave" she whispered, pointing at ike.

"Ohh..don't worry ladies...he'll be gone..lonnnnnnggggggg gone!" Adam said grinning, watching Isaac drink. He sipped his beer, and laughed to himself.

"What...are you talking about Adam? He's still here..and I don't think he wants to leave..." she said, still hiding behind him, watching Isaac stumble around looking for more beer.

"Hey..." isaac slurred. "Zac... did I ever tell you how much you remind me of John Travol-" He fell over on the floor.

He didn't make a sound for a couple seconds. Then a strange gurgling noise emonated from his mouth, followed by snorring.

"oh god... that's sick." she laughed.

Audrey started to laugh. "Oh man."

"Zac! Quick!" Adam said, handing his beer to Audrey to hold, "help me roll him back into his room!" Adam walked over to him and started rolling him towards the door.

Zac laughed. "Okay... man... hold up." Zac said as he pushed Jane off him.

Zac got up and dragged Ike out in the hallway. He then helped Adam roll Ike down the hallway to his room.

Jane walked over to Audrey. "Isaac is gross and disgusting. Never EVER let him touch you... it's just gross...By the way, I love your hair."

"His drunk ass is heavier than I thought it would be!" Adam said as they rolled him down the hall.

"He's a dead weight when he's drunk... Fucking dick." he laughed.

Audrey laughed, "alright, I make sure to keep that in mind..and thank you!" she smiled, and looked at Adam and Zac rolling Isaac down the hall, "they're completely mad."

Adam laughed, giving Isaac the final roll into his room. As Isaac was put on his back, he let out a huge fart. "Ew!" Adam burst out in hysterical laughter.

"yeah... so how long have you and Adam been together?" she asked, still watching the guys roll Isaac.

"AWE FUCK YOU, IKE!" Zac yelled, jumping back from him. "FUCKING FUCK!" Zac laughed and turned around to Jane and Audrey. "IKE FARTED!"

Adam stood there laughing, "that is so rad." he continued to laugh.

"YEAH!" Zac laughed, high fiving Adam.

"About 3 years or so." Audrey smiled at Jane. She looked over at Zac and Adam watching them laugh. "Funny how a fart, can be so amusing."

"Yeah... Funny... " She said with a less than thrilled look on her face.

She smiled at Zac when he waved at her. "God, he's cute." she looked back at Audrey. "How did you and Adam meet?"

"Back when were 18..grade 12 year in acting." she smiled watching him sing and dance around around Isaac's passed out body. "and I still have no idea how I fell for him." she laughed.

Jane laughed. "Seems like a handful... never a dull moment, I imagine." She smiled. "You don't know Zac though?"

"My milkshake brings all the boys to yard, and there like..'It's better than yours!' My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.." Adam sang, and danced around Isaac.

"Yeah, a big handfull." she looked back at Jane, "I just met Zac today actually. They've known each other since their freshman year, then I moved here from New Jersey to go to school here."

Zac started humping the air. "Shake it like a salt shaker! MUTHA FUCKA!!!" He takes off his his shoe and throws it at Ike's head.

She nodded. "ZAC!" she yelled, laughing at Zac throwing his shoe at Ike.

"Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!" Adam sang dancing around, doing the "raise the roof" jesture with hands, shakinging his butt around.

Zac looked up grinning. "What? I did nothing!" He looked at Adam. "Hey man... mind if we wrap early tonight?" he asked, nodding his head over to Jane.

Audrey stood and laughed. "Oh, wow. It's going to be so fun being around these two."

Jane shook her head and looked at Audrey. "Should I run now? or wait til morning?"

Adam grinned, and chuckled a little. "Uh..uhh..whose gettin some? whose getting some?" he said nudging Zac. "I gotcha...I haven't seen Audrey in so long..I'm looking to..get some..too." he said winking quite obviously, nudging Zac again.

"ADAM... SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Zac hissed. "It was supposed to be a surpirse!"

"Wait til morning..he could be fun." she laughed.

Jane burst out laughing. "It was nice to meet you Audrey... I'll see you tomorrow." she waved at her, walking up to Zac and Adam.

"Adam... it's been... fun." she said, trying not to laugh.

"Oh!" Adam giggled, "shhhh!" he laughed then walked over to Audrey and put her over his shoulder. "Lets go, Bunny! Give Zac and Jane some alone time! It was great meeting you too, Jane! And hey! Be gentle with my Zac! I love him like I would love my dog if I had one!"

Jane nodded and smiled, walking up to Zac.

"Bye! Nice meeting both of you!" Audrey said, waving as Adam carried her into his room.

"Hey... so like.... what do you want to do now?"

He looked at Jane, smiling hopefully.

Jane laughed again at Adam. "Uh... well... let's go to my room.. and talk about it..." she said, taking his hand and walking to her room..

Zac grinned and wrapped his arm around her waist and turned around and smiled at Adam. He gave him a thumbs up.

THE DOOR SHUT AND THAT IS ALL FOR TONIGHT

My Favorite (famous) Person in the World..

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 03:29:54 GMT

Happy 26th Birthday Adam Lazzara!! You are and will always be my hero!!